Coroner - Semtex Revolution

There’s a saying that I may or may not have made up, but you are welcome to quote me for a small fee. Are you ready for this? It goes, “There’s good thrash, and then there’s really good thrash”. While the sort of pen-swashing genius that it takes to come up with witty repartee like that is few and far between, there are a lot of good thrash bands. Good, not great. You don’t need me to tell you which ones they are, because quite honestly, it’s most of them. 

Enter Coroner, who play some really goddamned good thrash. Technical thrash metal, to be more precise, though it isn’t like they weren’t up and coming in the thrash surge in the late 80s. Along with bands like Watchtower, Kreator, and Onslaught, the Swiss outfit started slow and burned brighter and brighter, releasing seminal genre works like No More Color and Mental Vortex in a quite ridiculously short span of time. After five albums in around a decade, the band would call it quits, reuniting in 2010 and being followed by fervent rumours of new material after so long away. But would they ever release another album again? Tune into the next paragraph to find out, dear listener!

Aside from having one of the coolest track names in thrash history, Semtex Revolution is going to push all of the air out of your brain through your ears and replace it with riffs. It’s furiously fast, skin-ripping thrash at its very best and could be Rock Song of the Week for a month if those hard-asses in upper management would let us/existed. Coroner are a band that got better with every single album they put out and, incredibly and as teased in the previous section, the band are on the verge of releasing their sixth studio album after a thirty two year wait, which for fans of the band must be like when I have to wait eleven minutes to eat an oven-cooked pizza after a few jars of beer. WHY DON’T THEY SELL THEM PRE-COOKED? THE SANDS OF TIME ARE RELENTLESS, AND I HAVE TO BE AT WORK IN FOUR HOURS.